Questions

How much pain is one person supposed to endure? I can't quantify it, I can't grasp it really.
Which way is up anymore?
What is the motivation?
Where is my pride?
How did things go like this?
What can I do?
Where am I?

Questions?

Gotta Vent

I just don't know what to do anymore? Everything is going wrong for me. I have faith, I try to be the best person I can be, but what does any of that matter? I live for the kids, but where am I in all of this?

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

On the plus side (guess there always is a positive), I am truly a size 8!!! Forty pounds are GONE and I am not letting them creep back on.

Size 8 Jeans

I guess that title just about says it all. This morning I cracked out a pair of size 8's from the archives (aka attic). Yes, they are a big stretchy, but I haven't seen "single digits" since three autumns ago. I want to go outside and dance in the street!! For how slowly I started, the hard work is paying off big-time. Now to tone up a bit - I'd prefer to be a solid 8 or even a 6 if I can get down that far. Guess time will tell.

After Elizabeth was born I needed to wear a 16, so this is a big step down :)

Wednesday

Finally got out to ride again, first time since Sunday. It was a really busy day on Monday, then it was raining Tuesday and I was still sore, so I vowed to get on the bike Wednesday. It was a beautiful day, I didn't want to come back home. Rode out by the mountain again, 32 miles this time, average 14. I am feeling stronger and trying to avoid the granny gears. Still thinking about the 50 mile version of the Gap Gallop and whether or not I'd make a complete a$$ of myself doing that. I also need to pick up some new cycling clothes - most of my old stuff is simply too big now.

Busy Sunday

Busy Sunday for me. Two church services, one at 9 a.m. and one at 11 a.m. Grabbed quick lunch on the way home, then decided to ride. What a beautiful day - was able to get in 15 miles with a 13.5 average around Bushkill & Plainfield before racing home, showering, and heading down to Aunt Flora's for her 95th birthday party! She has been such a HUGE blessing to our whole family, I can't even put it into words. I hope she has many more happy birthdays. We all ate at the Newburg Inn, had lots of food and cake (not me of course LOL). One full week of riding later, and I'm loving it! Now to hopefully up the pace and distance...

I am toying with the idea of doing the "short" circuit of the Gap Gallop in October, that would be 50 miles. Let's see how things hold up with the 'ol body in the meantime.

Back on the bike for me

It might sound stupid, but as Labor Day approached and all the kids were talking about the Donut Derby, I felt sad. In 2003, I did the Donut Derby (consuming an obscene amount of donuts to deduct minutes from my time), and it was the first time I'd ridden my bike 35 miles. It also was a helluva lot of fun.

As Labor Day came and went, and with the urging of a few others, I decided to dust off the old road bike and give it a go. My road bike had been resting back in the famous "straw room" and boy was it dusty. I cleaned it off, dug my biking stuff out from the corner of my room, and set off on Sunday afternoon for a ride (with Elizabeth in her trailer because I couldn't wake my husband to watch her).

I made it 10 miles at a dismal speed. Everything hurt, but I was amazed at how wonderful I felt!

On Tuesday, I went out with the plan to try to reach Evergreen Lake. I felt so good when I got there that I went all the way to Byrd's house, snapping a picture at his garage for when my husband didn't believe me! Total trip - 31 miles, 12.5 MPH average. It's a good start.

Today, Friday, I decided to ride to karate and meet the family after Vic's class. I of course managed to get lost somewhere in Bushkill Township, but I covered 15 pretty hilly miles with a 12.8 average. I also was less sore "down there" and hope I will soon be cruising around at a good pace.

I LOVE MY BIKE :)

Cycling Time Again!

OK, I have a confession to make right now. When my brother suggested that little Anthony should try out cycling, I thought "yuck, no way, why bicycling??" But that was at least four years ago and I never thought my son would enjoy anything athletic so darn much.

Last night was the first 2008 Thursday training crit for Anthony. It could have gone better - he flatted his back tire with a couple of laps to go. But I also came to the realization that I deeply missed everyone related to cycling during the winter hibernation. All the Gotham guys, their wives and kids, all the parents of kids near Anthony's age - I missed them all. And these days I actually enjoy watching the racing - so much for my early thoughts when Anthony first gave it a go. (OK, the Kirkwood road race was pretty miserable for the spectators, but I can only imagine how the riders felt in that wind). It's just cool watching my son invest his time and talents in an activity that he loves so much. The nice people who go along with it are a definite bonus though.

Guess I should actually use this thing

Hey everyone, it's bag to the 'ol blog for me. Yikes, it has indeed been a crazy winter. I was eagerly itching for at least 6 inches or so of snow to get out the XC skis, but it never happened.
I also want to get back to volunteering for the ambulance, but I need my darling little gal to sleep through the night before I partake of that, since it also makes me lose sleep like she does.

This economy crap has me really down lately. I want nothing more than a nice little basic existence and a bit of $$ to have some fun with the family, but it's really worrisome to me lately. I work my jobs but there isn't anything left for savings anymore. I'd love to fix up the old house before my back breaks from the sink (it is low enough to double as a urinal and I'm 5'7"), I'd love another basic bathroom to relieve the line at the current one, and some windows that don't allow drafts would be heavenly. Guess it isn't in the cards. I seriously would take on another part-time job in addition to my current gigs if I could do it without neglecting the kids, which I can't. At least the hubby's seasonal side job is starting up soon. Maybe I could requisition a few more hours in the day LOL

One thing I do miss, believe it or not, is borough council. I got talking about all the issues in town the other week when I visited Pat to pay my taxes. I am still on Park Board, but I miss the council meetings and talking to all the folks around Wind Gap. Guess I'll have to run again when the kids are out of the house someday...

OK, that's it for now. Back to work!